When God decided to challenge me, for some reason, understandable only in a far future, he introduced me to my husband on a mysterious November day. It was one of those days when life felt almost too vibrant to bare…

Pain was my most faithful partner so far. I could count on it at any given moment. It didn’t come to me in a simple form, which you could locate and name it but as a condition given to me in heritage - Migraine.

The pain of existing. The mystery, the phantom, the aura, the loss of boundary between me and space, smell, and sound around. A total loss of life-force. Being stuck in an endless moment before death… 

I left my homeland when I was a young adult. As I was running, the ground of the country I was leaving behind was crumbling and dissolving into dust. Often since then, I felt like a visitor in my own life. 

I took off, not daring to look behind or ahead. As I felt my father’s hands lifting me on to the first step of the bus, which drove me away in the middle of the night into my future full of hope and worth living, my mind went into a state of a blank. I can't remember anything about that trip…

Sleep always played an important role in my life. I had all kinds of relationships with Morpheus. From when I was a small child, I had a strong sense that there is a parallel world I live in during the time of sleep. Awaking is a form of going back to sleep somewhere else… That's why my waking process is long every morning. I need time to adjust to the earthly frequency of living and taking my body with me into a new day...

There was no other place I wanted to be at as a toddler. Disciplined synchronised movements reflecting in mirrors. The sound of the pointe shoes lifting the angelic beings of ethereal beauty into the air seemed to me like a sound of my destiny. It didn’t matter that I had no shoes to stand on, I stood on my toes anyhow… I learned every step of the 'Swan Lake'. Odil and her mesmerising 32 fouettés were the toughest but the most satisfying…