Time was never passing for me in a linear way, and my age did not follow the expected curve of life. In my small years, I was able to offer mature reactions as they were asked of me and I felt as if a grown-up person was living inside of me. Maybe this is just in general one of the qualities of time, but sometimes the feeling I have is as if living life backwards, going forward in time and age to be born again, while shedding more and more layers off the child within me.

From time to time, there are moments where I get overwhelmed by triggers that make me think about my roots, belonging and passions as driving forces towards that youthful eternity, moments like when someone dear passes away, moments in which I feel the reality is shifting… 

I am thinking, Love!

Remembering a long time ago dreamed dream… 

A seashore. A tiger. The most gorgeous mighty creature. Lying in the shallow water sunbathing. Me in his arms. The transparent water caressing our bodies.

The state of relaxation next to a source of power so clear that it is unquestionable. The power that can be fatal. The moment of trust. The kind of perfection possible only before the tipping point! The moment from which everything starts going backwards. Like a wave…

As I was brought up to believe that humans are the main protagonists in life, and animals are kept for their needs without a grain of doubt about that fact, I was an owner during my childhood, of a very sweet, depressed yellow canary bird in a cage, a couple of uncommunicative tiny fish in a round aquarium, and the sweetest turtle kidnapped from a seaside forest on the way back from one of our summer vacations.

I don’t remember what happened to the yellow bird, I remember that the fish ate each other, and the last golden one died of loneliness, and that my beloved turtle never woke up on one of the early spring days.

Encounters with the dogs which my grandparents kept in the village house were at the level of an annoyance since they were just kept to serve as a live alarm system, barking the whole day and night…

When God decided to challenge me, for some reason, understandable only in a far future, he introduced me to my husband on a mysterious November day. It was one of those days when life felt almost too vibrant to bare…