#3 ‘SleepLess’
Photo: ddismei
ELEMENTARY
3.
‘SleepLess’
Sleep always played an important role in my life. I had all kinds of relationships with Morpheus. From when I was a small child, I had a strong sense that there is a parallel world I live in during the time of sleep. Awaking is a form of going back to sleep somewhere else… That's why my waking process is long every morning. I need time to adjust to the earthly frequency of living and taking my body with me into a new day...
My first memory of dreaming was a feeling of pulling things out of my sleep. Pencils, dolls, or anything I was holding in my hands until just before awaking. Until the moment I opened my eyes I could still play with them. Feel them in my hands. The disappointment of opening my eyes was every time fascinating. Our perception is everything, isn’t it? My favourites were the dreams in which I could swim and breathe underwater. Standing in a flock of pink flamingos at a beautiful sunset feels like it happened yesterday. I can’t remember though if I was a flamingo myself, or I was just a little five-year-old standing in their flock, but that’s not important. My essence was there, drinking the orange colour of the sun. Dreaming was so real and magical at the same time.
The bubble burst when the night terrors started. Dreams I still remember as if they happened for real. They made me stop sleeping for some time, leaving me with the only choice, to wait for the next day to break. It took me a long time and o lot of courage to allow, once and for all, the real face of horror to reveal itself. To my great surprise, it was my own. Once I saw it, I understood that there is nothing we should fear more than ourselves. With that newly found courage, I went back trusting the embrace of God of sleep again.
Ever since then, respecting sleeping, even more, I was rewarded with years of clairvoyance. My friends and family were admiring and looking forward to my prophecies. It was a wonderful feeling, walking into a certain situation in your life for the second time, being prepared. And I trusted that too… I felt that there was a simple explanation for that gift of an open gate of time. A mathematical accuracy. A careful observation of every detail of awaken and sensory world turned into a process of calculation of the biggest likelihood of the outcome during sleep. Oh yes, that part of the brain should be discovered. Stimulated, nurtured and believed in!
One particular prediction made me turn off that calculator. Hanging off the cliff, driving straight into a void, running away down the stairs… I trusted that too, but I didn’t want to know anymore… Now, mostly, I only sleep.
